Monday, June 13, 2011

I Fell - Stitches Out Edition

Breaking news: my stitches are out! I've been using staircases, sitting properly in chairs, even bending down to reach the bottom shelves and drawers occasionaly! Yep, it's been pretty real.

For those last few wound voyeurs out there who just can't get enough of my sexay sexay knee opening, here's what it looked like right after the stitches came out,

and here's what it looked like as of about 10 minutes ago when those bandage things came off:

It's been a wild ride folks. All I can say is thanks again to magical Ben who speeded to the rescue and stayed up late in emergency with me. Thanks to the emergency room staff and md. Holla to my peeps @work who said 'whoa!' and 'dude!'

No thanks whatsoever to the city of Montreal. You just cost the province a bunch in emergency room treatments. Fix the friggin sidewalk!

Thursday, June 09, 2011

I Fell - Update

Some of you crazy folks out there have actually asked for more pictures of my mangled knee. I absolutely can't imagine why, but I have more to do with my time than contemplate the motives of wound voyeurs.

So here it is, my knee one week after my fateful tumble on a Notre Dame sidewalk. Stitches come out on Monday (if you're reading this in the future, that's four days from now)

Thursday, June 02, 2011

I Fell

I Fell.

This isn’t a story about getting swindled by some fast-talking con artist, or falling for some guy’s lame line at a bar. It’s not about falling in love, as good a story as that might be. It’s not even about losing grace and tumbling out of heaven.

It’s about me walking home from work last night. I tripped on this thing,

and I fell.

After diving headfirst into asphalt, I started to get up, thinking, oh man, this is embarrassing. But I couldn’t get all the way up, so I scooted back to the grass median, away from the curb. I realized that my knee was bleeding and I wouldn’t be able to get up and keep going.

I put a maxi pad on it to absorb the blood – thanks Always! – and tied up the toggle on my skater shorts to keep pressure on it. It was tying the knot (again, not a love story) that made me realize I couldn’t properly grip anything or move my right arm without tremendous pain. So with my left hand, I called my huny to come and get me. Ben, you’re the best. (It’s like the Bodyguard, except we’re real people!) I waited for him on the ground right here:

Five hours later, 3 different people at the emergency room – the admittig nurse, the orderly and the x-ray tech – had all looked impressed at the huge gash on my knee, flecks of yellow fat and black asphalt and thick red blood and said, ‘good job!’

After irrigating 4 times and using tweezers to clean out the cut, my knee looked like this:

Now I’m getting back up.

Bending my knee to walk properly gives me a sickening feeling of tearing flesh, so getting out to the cab last night made me walk a lot like this guy:

I still couldn’t grip properly with my right hand, or lift my arm, so I ate a late meal when I got home a lot like this lady would:

I slept in my shirt and pj bottoms because moving my arm to change was impossible. A humid day before plus night in and no showering because the dressing would get wet, made me spend a lot of today looking and feeling like this lady:

Which sucked, so I had a bath to at least get a good rinse. Then I tried to get out of the tub on a bad knee, with a bad arm. That made me feel like this:

But once I made it out, I felt much better and even got some more motion in my arm. My dressing got pretty soggy, so I had to change it. Right now, my knee looks like this:

Today, my biggest accomplishment was getting a proper sling for my arm and walking as far as the pharmacy to get it. Being able to do so little – even having emails and blogs typed for me as I dictate - is a huge, frustrating hassle. So I’m spending the rest of today and probably tonight like this guy: