Saturday, January 26, 2008

more from the defunct digest

Normally I don't bother socializing with people from my office. As a general rule they aren't much fun and wonder about what entertainment habits the "weird girl" might enjoy. This time though, it paid off. One of my colleagues left the company, and as he reached escape velocity, a bunch of us decided to have a 5 to 7 together. By showing up late after an appointment, I ensured that the boring one-beer, one-song people left and the former employees were boozing it up with gusto. Perfect gossip opportunity. Gossip I feel is an undervalued commodity in office life. There is no better way to share information than word of mouth, and in terms of one-sided communications, offices can't be beat. In order to survive such an environment with curiosity intact, it's important to learn about colleagues, bosses, upcoming procedures and events etc. It's not only a way of remaining sane and in small measure getting back at those with authority, it's also about keeping those neurons firing in the face of insurmountable odds. The best places for gossip include the lunchroom, a colleagues's car on the way to lunch, hallways, printers, coolers, elevators and naturally, the washroom. The richest, most central hub of office traffic, the washroom remains the unsung hero of the office communication nexus. It is where we pass each other and comment on our hair or clothes, where we bitch about a bad day, where we have at one time or another passed a phone interview on a cell in the only private space available. Where better to commiserate with people who do the same job you do? Where better to solidify ties with those on the other end of your job? Where better to waste fifteen when you can't bear to go back to your desk? Yet it was not here that I made the best discovery yet. At the bar, over a decent microbrew, I learned what is now keeping me glowing warm in the middle of this unseasonal snowstorm. The dog, the lies, the history, all pales in comparison to this: My boss is the former Miss Lebanon. She went to the Miss Universe pageant in the hopes of bringing home the values of western beauty pageants to the middle east. I honestly never thought to picture blondezilla in downtown beirut, but I will say this: It's Sunday, my work for tomorrow was completed last Wednesday and this is the only thing that will get me through the week. ...Until of course, I need to stop in the bathroom. Tell me your favourite gossip! Feel free to hide names and dates if you wish.

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