Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Near Misses

Small teeth on a burning bush

South Korea has shown its teeth in a calm attempt to rattle our dentures. They claim their wants are ends to proliferation, but not via the ongoing Beijing talks that they have boycotted up to now and more than likely beyond. There is a good chance it has something to do with improper table settings; nevertheless, the demand has been made. This is nonsense at it’s finest, not only due to the behaviour of L’il Kim and his henchmen, but the Domestic South-Western Burning Bush, who immediately went on a public rampage: Intolerable. Immoral. Dangerous. Our Merry Harper calls it Irresponsible, a subject on which he can speak with great authority. The world has threatened sanctions and talks have begun at the U.N. without so much as an attempt at confirmation that a true nuclear test has taken place. Iran looks on smirking, oh so little is left to do.

Next week the new Hot-Air Act will be announced as the cornerstone of the Tory “green” agenda. They will postpone a year for any substance in the act using the time to consult with industry and the provinces. Take heart citizens; this will in no way end the 1.4 billion dollar subsidies currently enjoyed on the Canadian Oil Index, nor will we treat Kyoto with anything less than xenophobic hostility in coming years. Don’t imagine either any talk of a referendum or open-air discussion on the subject of “the air we all breathe”. This is something best left to the experts, those just cynical enough to claim that the legislation put forth by them (rather than enforcing that legislation already implemented) in consult with industries and provincial governments benefiting from pollution is a “holistic approach” to lawmaking.

I pondered these topics as I walked along Queen Mary today; I approached the Metro lost in thought. I crossed at the lights, looked to my right and found no traffic coming the other way and crossed there too. I didn’t realize anything might be amiss until the woman shouting “madame, madame!” at me came over to berate me for crossing the street against no traffic. I was sure she was a fussy crossing guard until I looked closely at her sleeve and realized she was a police officer. Dazed I answered her questions as she told me I wasn’t allowed to cross against the light. Yes I said, I just looked and saw there were no cars, so I decided to go. As she took my information and began a ticket nomenclature, another woman came up to both of us. Apparently she and her son has almost been hit by a car turning far too fast onto the cross street, but in the excitement of me nearly crossing the street without incident save for a crazed maniac yelling at me to stop for my own good in the middle of an intersection, we missed the show. The cop said “that’s what we’re here for.” And the woman got mad. She pointed out that it seemed imbalanced that the cop would take time to yell at me for safely crossing the street and fail to observe her and her child nearly being run down on their way home. I think she wanted some kind of acknowledgment, but the cop stuck to her guns and wrote me a ticket for 37$, 10 dollars of which is noted as Contribution for something or other. I’m not just looking for traffic lights when I cross the streets anymore; I’m looking for police officers with far too much time on their hands.

And so we are threatened. Watch the automated signals only; leave no room for good judgement or decision. It is not about safety or correctness, but willpower and money. The city demands compensation when its agents observe a trespass. North Korea executes an attention-getting test and demands a seat at a table to which they have been invited and are currently shunning. I am on my way home now, on a train I would have taken from work at around this time. Normally no-one braces their foot against my right cheek to tie their shoes, but then, it is exemplary today. I am not accustomed to tickets for safely crossing the street, L’il Kim using our media as a teething ring, or a Tory green plan. I am heartened however by the usual role crazy cop, the natural belligerence of junior bushman and indeed our milder echo is familiar. These are all too natural threats and suspicions; we live day to day with them like dogs on leashes. Simply now, we must neither starve them nor let them loose. For they will devour us leaving only the small bones of our hope behind.

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