Sunday, August 13, 2006

wanna stop thinkin about you...

Think of someone close to you. Someone you respect and love. Someone who you think highly of. Now think of that person killing someone. How do you forgive them for such a thing? And he’s not around to yell at. You can’t ask him why. There is just you and your heart and whether you can reopen it.

Now think of someone you’ve known your whole life. Someone whose presence is assumed, inherent. Someone who makes part of you who you are just by being that gatepost in your personality. Now think of that person leaving. One day he’s gone. You can’t find out why, or know if he’s alright. You can’t see him or hear his broadcast anymore: he’s off your map. How do you forgive him for that?

Finally, think of someone who means something to you. Someone you love. Someone who you want to protect. Now he’s sick and there’s nothing you can do to heal him. You can’t make him better, you can’t convince him to trust a doctor and you can’t blame him for finding the only reasonable way out. How do you forgive yourself for not making him better? For not taking more steps?

All of these are the same person for me and these questions along with his absence are strong and quite hard on the heart.

1 comment:

orangelina said...

perhaps i am the only person on the planet who knows EXACTLY what you mean. today is ugly. so was yesterday. tomorrow? fingers crossed.